April Fool's
by CavanaughCSI3
Summary: Swan Queen - Emma likes to turn April Fool's Day into April Fool's Month. Very mild language. Rated 'T' to be on the safe side.


**I was planning on saving this to post on April Fool's Day but I decide to post early since I finished it. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't have anything to do with Once Upon a Time.**

* * *

**April Fool's Day**

* * *

"Emma!"

Her wife's voice rang through the house. There was no question that Regina was in the foyer of their home. The blonde came around the corner from where she had been hiding.

"Hey babe." She said causally.

"Don't 'babe' me!" Regina scolded. She then motioned to the front door, "What the hell is this?"

Regina was referring to the line of confetti poppers that had been taped to the entryway. Their strings connected to the doorjamb which would cause them all to pop when the door was opened. Their sound startled Regina as she entered the house and now the floor was covered with confetti.

"April Fools?" Emma shrugged. When her wife did not look amused she continued, "I thought that Henry was going to get home first."

Regina just walked by the other woman and simply said, "Clean it up."

* * *

Regina hated the month of April - yes, the whole month. Emma had a tendency to take the entire April Fool's Day and turn it into April Fool's Month. This caused the Mayor to feel like she was on edge at all times; constantly having to be careful of where she sat or what she ate and drank. She never accepted a cup of coffee from the blonde in the month of April – there were far too many incidences of her putting salt rather than sugar in her coffee. Most of Emma's pranks were harmless but there were some that had left her with receiving the silent treatment or getting banished to the guest bedroom.

There was the time that Emma had managed build herself a costume that looked like their chair cushions and when Regina sat down in the chair Emma stood up and scared her half to death. Regina barely contained the fireball that she had conjured in her hand. Emma was forced to sleep in the guest room for three nights and endured short, curt, one word answers from the brunette for almost four days.

Sure, she joined in the pranks every now and then but it would be a lot easier if she could use magic. Emma wouldn't allow her to use magic in any of the April Fool's jokes. "That's cheating!" the blonde had claimed. Henry loved to play pranks just like his blonde mother. She often felt picked on when the two of them decided to gang up on her. They were much more careful about that after the incident two years ago which caused Regina to lock herself in her vault for 24 hours. When she had finally unlocked the large steel doors and attempted to leave, she found Emma curled up on the ground just outside the door.

"I'm sorry!" Emma exclaimed as she shot up from the floor. "I'm an idiot. It was my idea. Henry had nothing to do with it! If you're going to be mad at anyone be mad at me. He wanted to stay here with me last night because he is terrified that you..."

Regina cut off the blonde's incessant babbling by taking her face in her hands and kissing her gently, "You're forgiven." She said quietly. "You're both forgiven. Now let's go home to our boy."

Last week, she had caught the blonde as she was in the midst of rearranging all of the files in her office. Regina had threated to withhold sex for a week unless things were righted. She had never seen her wife move so quickly.

The brunette put the finishing touches on her make up before she went downstairs. Emma was already in the kitchen making coffee and prepping breakfast. She slipped up behind her wife as she was scooping sugar into her to-go coffee mug. "Good morning." She murmured against the skin of her neck.

The blonde turned and pecked her on the lips, "Good morning."

Their son entered the kitchen moments later his face stretched in a wide yawn. "Good morning, my prince." Regina said as she pressed a kiss to his temple. He mumbled a "Hi, Mom," as he sat down on his normal stool at the island.

Emma motioned to the bowl in the center of the counter, "I already poured your cereal, kid."

The teen reached for the bowl; still half asleep. Henry used to be a morning person but that seemed to be changing the older that he became. "He's just developing into a normal teenager." Emma often assured her wife.

The boy picked up his spoon and attempted to plunge it into the breakfast bowl but his attempt was thwarted. "Hey!" He exclaimed; now fully awake. He tapped his spoon on the solid surface of his cereal. "How did...is this frozen?"

He looked up to see his blonde mother silently laughing at his efforts. He could have sworn that his other mother was smirking behind her coffee cup. Emma finally could not contain her laughter and it came outright, "That was awesome! You looked so confused!"

Regina rolled her eyes at her wife, "You're so easily amused, dear."

"Oh, come on, that's why you love me!" Her son continued to stab at the frozen mixture of milk and cereal in front of him. "Here." She placed an empty bowl, milk and his favorite sugary cereal in front of him; obviously prepared to replace his breakfast after the prank.

Henry opened the box and turned it upside down to pour some in his bowl. Instead of the sugar coated grains and marshmallows that he had been expecting, his bowl was now full of the plain corn flake cereal that his brunette mother claimed to enjoy.

"Hey!" He exclaimed once more.

Emma pumped her fist in victory, "Two in a row!"

* * *

Regina walked down the hallway towards her bedroom when she noticed the light was on in her son's bathroom. She found it odd given that Henry hadn't been in the house for hours and was not coming home until the following morning. She approached the room to turn off the light when she found her wife in there. She stood quietly against the doorjamb with her arms crossed over her chest as she observed the blonde woman who seemed to be in the middle of a project. She had a bar of soap on the counter in front of her and was painting it with what looked to be clear nail polish.

"What are you up to now?" She asked.

Emma did not look up from her mission as she answered, "Covering Henry's soap with nail polish." She said it as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"And why are you doing that?"

"When he goes to use it, it won't lather. Who ever thought that you'd be able to break a piece of soap!?" Emma giggled; obviously proud of herself for coming up with the idea.

"Do you really think that it's a good idea to give our teenaged son a reason to not properly clean himself?" Regina asked with a raised eyebrow.

Emma immediately stopped what she was doing. She placed the brush back into the bottle of polish and threw the bar of soap in the trash, "I see your point."

* * *

"Googly eyes? Really?" Regina said when Emma walked into the kitchen. She had been referring to the pairs of plastic eyes that had been glued to every item in the fridge. She opened the appliance to start preparing dinner and found all of her groceries staring back at her.

"What?" Emma chuckled, "That's funny!"

The brunette looked at her with a straight face. Henry rose from where he was seated at the island with his current comic book. He pressed a kiss to Emma's cheek, "I thought it was funny, Ma."

"Thanks kid."

* * *

Emma sat down at her desk and reached for the brown paper bag that she had placed on top of it. She was excited that it was finally lunch time. When she opened her bag to survey its contents she was pleasantly surprised to find her wife had packed her a treat.

"Cheetos?! Yes!"

It wasn't often that her wife packed her snacks like that. Her lunched typically contained a salad or sensible sandwich with fruits and vegetables as the sides. The sheriff was beyond excited to see the cheesy junk food. She opted to rip into the first before eating her sandwich. She reached into the bag and was confused by the texture of the food inside. The food that she pulled out was orange but it definitely was not a Cheeto. She immediately picked up the phone and dialed her wife's office. The mayor picked up after the 2nd ring,

"Hello darling." She said; obviously recognizing the number on the caller ID.

"You cheated. You're not supposed to use magic!"

Regina leaned back in her chair as she listened to her wife's rant, "I assure you, my dear, that I did not use magic on any prank."

"Then how the hell did my Cheetos turn into carrots?" Emma demanded to know.

"I opened them from the bottom, swapped the Cheetos for carrots, and glued the bag back together." The brunette chuckled as she told her wife the master plan behind her prank.

"So where are my Cheetos?"

"Let's just say I now understand why you request to buy them all the time. They really are quite tasty."

Emma gasped, "You're evil." The blonde was very careful to use the term when talking to her wife. She knew that Regina was still sensitive to being called that word. She could tell by the laughing on the other end of the line that she wasn't taking offense to it this time around.

"The evilest of them all! To top it off, I bought a multipack of the snack bags but only swapped out half of them. I won't even know what I am actually putting into your lunches now."

"That's just mean!"

"You'll survive, dear." She smiled into the receiver, "Perhaps even longer now than you would have initially since I am not letting you eat ALL of the Cheetos."

"Yeah, yeah." Emma huffed.

Her wife could picture the pout that was currently across her face. "I need to get back to work, my love. I will see you later. Enjoy your lunch! I love you."

Emma mumbled, "I love you too," before hanging up her phone and biting into a carrot.

* * *

It was a warm spring weekend. Emma was standing at the grill in the backyard, Regina was preparing their lunch side dishes in the kitchen while Henry read his comic books in the hammock.

"Hey, Ma, I am going to go inside and get a soda. Do you want anything?"

"I will take a soda too. Thanks, kid."

The teen wandered inside and was back out a few minutes later. He handed his mother a red solo cup with the requested beverage. "Here you go, Ma."

Emma said her thanks and kissed her son's head before he headed back to the hammock. Not long later the family was enjoying their meal together at the picnic table in the backyard.

"Regina, can you pass me the soda please?" Emma asked her wife. She took the large plastic bottle that the brunette handed her and refilled her cup.

"Me too, Ma." Henry said as he held his cup out to her. With both cups filled, Emma set the bottle to the side and continued her meal. Moments later, her cup began to fizz uncontrollably and spill over the top of the cup.

"What the hell?!" Emma exclaimed as she looked at the solo cup.

Regina rose from the table to avoid getting spilled on while Henry roared with laughter.

"Henry?" The blonde mother questioned.

The teen controlled his laughter enough to say, "I froze Mentos is the ice cubes. Once the ice melted, the Mentos hit the soda it caused that reaction."

Emma looked at her cup; the fizzing had started to slow, "I'm impressed, kid. Well done."

* * *

No one was immune to Emma's month of foolish jokes.

David enter the station for his shift late one April afternoon. He was covering the night shift that week. He found is daughter in her office finishing up some paperwork. He sat down at the chair next to her desk,

"How have things been today?"

Emma sighed and put her pen down, "Boring. The most exciting thing I did all day was refill the candy jar.

She motioned to the glass jar on the end of her desk. It was full of small, colorful candies.

"Ooo! Don't mind if I do!" David said as he reached towards the jar. Using the attached metal scoop he poured a handful of candies into his palm, and then popped half of them in his mouth. He was surprised upon his first bite, "Ugh. Oh my gosh! What kind of mixture is that?!"

He could tell by his daughter's cackling that this was one of her famous jokes. "It's M&amp;M, Skittles and Reese's Pieces! Do the Reese's and the Skittles have a bit of a peanut butter and jelly effect? I was curious about that."

David began to carefully inspect the remaining candy in his hand so that he no longer mixed flavors, "You will have to figure that out for yourself."

* * *

Regina sat in her study working on paperwork that she had brought home from the office. She didn't want it all hanging over her head while she spent the weekend with her wife and son. She was so concentrated on her work that she didn't hear her wife enter the room.

"Really?" Emma yelled from the doorway.

Regina jumped in surprise but the started laughing hysterically when she looked at her blonde wife - well, her formerly blonde wife. The sheriff's long locks were now bright blue. The mayor could not control her laughter in order to speak.

"What did you do? What was in the shower? I look like a smurf!"

The fact that Emma was standing there in her towel made the situation even more hilarious. Regina folder her arms on the desk and placed her head on them as she continued to laugh.

"I am glad that you find this so funny!" Her wife huffed. "Now what the hell is it?"

The brunette attempted to compose herself but she was still giggling as she said, "You will have to ask your son. All I know is that he was planning on doing something to our shower. He warned me not to use it until tomorrow." She held her stomach; her diaphragm hurt from the constant laughter.

"Why that little..." She sighed, "Can you fix it?"

"How do you expect me to do that?"

Emma threw her hands up in the air, "With magic!"

"So I'm not allowed to use magic to play pranks on you but I am allowed to use it to fix things from pranks played on you?"

"Well, yeah."

"Now how do you suppose that that is fair?" Regina was now in full control of her giggling.

Emma turned to leave the room. As she did she said, "Fine. I will do it myself."

"I would be careful out that," Regina called out after her. "You wouldn't want to end up bald!"

The threat stopped Emma in her tracks. She turned back to her wife with pleading eyes.

"I will make you a deal." Regina rose from the desk and cross to wear the other woman was standing, "I will fix your hair - after Henry sees the results of his prank."

Emma sighed, "Deal."

Regina wrapped her arms around her waist as she said, "And Emma, you make a very sexy smurf."

* * *

The only time that Regina truly enjoyed the month of April is when she could play pranks on Mary Margaret without making other people angry.

The Charmings had joined the Swan-Mills family for dinner one evening. Mary Margaret had insisted that they had family dinners once a week but Regina was able to negotiate with her wife to only allow it to happen every other week. The couples took turns hosting.

Henry had just helped his mothers clear the dinner table of the entrée plates when Regina carried a tray of dessert into the dining room.

"Candied apples?" Emma asked excitedly. "I love those."

"Here you go, dear." Regina said as she handed her wife a plate. The hostess passed the desserts out individually. She did not miss the skeptical look in Mary Margaret's eye when she handed her the candy covered fruit. "It's not poisonous. I promise. It's not like Charming here can't kiss you and wake you up instantly anyway."

The father, daughter, and grandson laughed at the joke but the younger brunette did not seem amused. "Come on, Mom. Don't be that way! We've had such a nice evening so far. They are delicious." Emma said all of this will strings of caramel dripping down her chin.

"You're right. I'm sorry." The teacher admitted. "Thank you, Regina."

The former queen watched intently as Snow White picked up the dessert and bit into it.

"Ugh!" She exclaimed as the flavors exploded into her mouth. "What is…is this an onion?"

Regina doubled over with laughter as Mary Margaret spit out the food that she had in her mouth. Her former arch enemy was glaring at her from where she sat at the table. She was at loss for words; completely blindsided by the taste that still lingered in her mouth. She glared at her daughter too who had joined her wife in laughter.

"You too, Emma?"

The blonde wiped tears from her eyes, "I had no idea that she had planned. I swear. But it was damned funny. Good one babe!"

Snow White huffed in frustration as Emma held her hand out to Regina for a high five.

* * *

"What's wrong, Ma?" Henry asked as he entered the living room. His blonde mother was standing in front of the television and was obviously agitated.

"I can't get the remote control to work!" She had exasperatedly. "I have changed the batteries, I have reset the cable box, I have…" she stopped talking as the channel changed without her touching any of the devices in front of her. "What the…?" She turned to see her son – remote control in one hand, a small piece of scotch tape in the other.

"The tape blocks the censor." He said with a chuckle.

Emma grabbed the remote from his hand, "Damn you!"

* * *

"Honey," Emma asked as she stuck her head into her wife's study. "Did I get a package today?"

Regina looked up from her book, "Yes, actually you did. I left on the table by the front door."

"Yes! They are finally here!"

Emma turned for the front door so quickly that the brunette had to call out after her. "What did you order?"

Her wife returned with her new purchase. "They are sandwich bags with moldy designs on them. It makes the bread look moldy but it's really just on the bag! Henry's going to freak out when he opens his lunch."

"What I am going to do with you?" Regina asked rhetorically as she shook her head.

Emma shrugged as she leaned across the desk to kiss her, "Love me forever?"

Regina smiled against her lover's lips, "Oh, alright."

* * *

"Did you find Pongo?" David ask as his daughter arrived back at the station.

"Yes." Emma sighed, "I swear one day I am just not going to respond to Archie's call. I am so tired of running after that dog."

David held out a bottle of water to the tired woman, "Here, take load off."

Emma cracked the seal on the water cap and murmured her thanks. She sat down in her desk chair only to fly back up again with a scream as a loud horn went off from beneath her. David just barely dodged the water bottle that flew in his direction as his daughter jumped back up. The man was laughing so hard that Emma could not even ask him what had happened. She bent down to investigate how her chair had been tampered with and found an air horn taped to the bottom of her chair. Her weight had put just enough pressure on the button to trigger the horn.

"Oh, my God! That was amazing! Charming said once he finally found his voice again. "Regina and Henry are going to love seeing that video."

"Video?" Emma exclaimed.

David didn't answer. He pointed across the room to the video camera that they normally use during interrogations. It wasn't until he pointed it out that Emma noticed the blinking red light indicating that the camera was in fact rolling.

* * *

"Mom, have you seen my phone?" Henry asked as he came downstairs.

Regina was finishing up the dishes from dinner, "No, Henry, I haven't."

"I can't find it anywhere." The teen was frustrated not being able to find the device.

"What's the issue?" Emma asked as she entered the room.

"Henry can't find his phone."

"Here, kid," Emma said as she held out her phone, "Use mine to call it. Maybe you can find it."

Henry took the phone and did as suggested. He began to hear a muffled ring from the other room so he left to investigate. Emma crossed to the fridge, kissing her wife on the way, and pulled a beer from the appliance door. The parents heard their son exclaim from the living room,

"Ma!"

"Did you find it?" Emma asked innocently. Regina could tell her wife was up to something by the smirk on her face.

"Yeah, I did." Henry entered the room with his mother's phone in one hand and his in another – completely wrapped in rubber bands.

* * *

"Henry!"

The teen's eyebrows shot to the top of his forehead when he heard his brunette mother call his name. It wasn't even 7:30am and she sounded mad. What had he done?

He entered his mothers' bedroom and had to restrain himself from laughing. His mother was standing before him, her robe snitched tightly around her waist, and her hair and face covered in flour. She became covered in it when she had turned her blow dryer on that morning. He clamped his hand over his mouth to hold in his laughter. He could tell that his blonde mother was attempting to do the same thing from where she stood behind her wife.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" The brunette demanded.

"I'm sorry, Mom," Henry managed to say, "I thought that Ma was going to use the blow dryer first."

* * *

"Regina," Emma asked upon entering the kitchen, "Did you pick up anymore beer when you were out?"

The brunette continued to chop vegetables as she answered, "Yes, dear, they are already in the fridge."

"God, I love you." Emma said as she kissed her wife and crossed to the fridge. A startled scream came out of her mouth and she slammed the door back into place. "There's a head in the fridge!" She exclaimed, "You collected hearts, not heads! Why the hell is there a head in the fridge? Whose head is it?"

Regina laughed as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out what Emma believed to be a pickled head. The mayor set the large Mason jar down on the counter, opened it and extracted a laminated photo from the substance inside.

Emma examined the concoction and simply said, "Cool."

* * *

Regina rolled over to find her wife still fast asleep. She leaned over began to trail kisses up her neck and across her face. She pressed her lips against the other woman's; increasing the pressure more and more until she felt the blonde respond. Without breaking their kiss, Regina moved, with practiced ease, to straddle her wife's hips. A wide grin spread across Emma's face as their lips finally parted. She ran her hands up her wife' bare thighs as she asked,

"Not that I am complaining but what did I do to deserve that this morning?"

"Nothing," Regina answered as she dipped her head to nip below Emma's ear, "It's May 1st. No more jokes."

"Oh man." Emma whined.

The brunette sat back up and pulled her shirt over her head, "I want to celebrate that April is finally over. Don't you want to help me celebrate?"

Emma didn't have to think twice, "Hell yea! There's always next year!"

* * *

**I hope this gave you a laugh and possibly some joke ideas if you're into that kind of thing. **


End file.
